MY IMMORTAL - The Grammatically Correct Edition
by Rachael With an A
Summary: Finally, a grammatically correct edition of My Immortal. It's still really bad, but you might not get as much brain damage. Reader discretion advised - an abundance of swears, sex, paedophiles, depression, Mary Sues, unrealistic vampires, canon aversions, slit wrists and more! M-rated for the line "he put his thingy in my you-know-what and then we did it for the first time".
1. Chapter 1

Hi everyone!

We all know the fanfiction that everyone loves to hate, the God-awful My Immortal. So I was reading one of those snarky-commentary-on-My-Immortal fics recently, and I though, "I bet it would still be this awful even if it was grammatically correct." So I underwent hours of pure mental torture and possibly endured severe brain damage to spell-check every last "goffik" word in the story. I have taken the risk of burning my eyes out to bring you the edited version, with correct grammar, spelling, punctuation, and canon corrections when the need is dire.

And here it is! Hopefully you'll be sensible and at least read this instead of searching for the original. WARNING – reading may still result in a severe loss of brain cells.

I'd say enjoy, but you probably won't, so review anyway!

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Chapter 1.

AN: Special fangz (get it, because I'm gothic)to my gf (Ew, not in that way)Raven, bloodytearz666 for helping me with the story and spelling. You rock! Justin,you're the love of my depressing life; you rock too!MCR ROCKS!

Hi, my name is Ebony Dark'nessDementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair (that's how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reach my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears, and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee. (AN: if you don't know who she is, get the hell out of here!). I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie. I'm a vampire but my teeth are straight and whiteI have pale white skin. I'm also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in Scotland where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen). I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For exampletoday I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was also wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and rainingso there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

"Hey Ebony!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was Draco Malfoy!

"What's up Draco?" I asked.

"Nothing." he said shyly.

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away.

AN: Is it good? PLEASE tell me; fangz!

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Chapter 2.

AN: Fangz to bloodytearz666 for helping me with the chapter! By the way, preps stop flaming my story okay!

The next day I woke up in my bedroom.It was snowing and raining again.I opened the door of my coffin and drank some blood from a bottle. My coffin was black ebony and inside it was hot pink velvet with black lace on the ends.I got out of my coffin and took off my giant MCR t-shirt which I used for pyjamas. Instead, I put on a black leather dress, a pentagram necklace, combat boots and black fishnets on. I put on four pairs of earrings in my pierced ears, and put my hair in a kind of messy bun. My friend, Willow (AN: Raven this is you!) woke up then and grinned at me. She flipped her long waist-length raven black hair with pink streaks and opened her forest-green eyes.She put on her Marilyn Manson t-shirt with a black mini, fishnets and pointy high-heeled boots. We put on our makeup (black lipstick white foundation and black eyeliner.)

"OMFG, I saw you talking to Draco Malfoy yesterday!" she said excitedly

"Yeah? So?" I said, blushing.

"Do you like Draco?" she asked as we went out of the Slytherin common room and into the Great Hall.

"No I so fucking don't!" I shouted.

"Yeah, right!" she exclaimed. Just then, Draco walked up to me.

"Hi." he said.

"Hi." I replied flirtily

"Guess what." he said.

"What?" I asked.

"Well, Good Charlotte are having a concert in Hogsmeade." he told me.

"Oh. My. Fucking. God!" I screamed. I love Good Charlotte. They are my favourite band, besides MCR.

"Well, do you want to go with me?" he asked.

I gasped.

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Chapter 3.

AN: PREPS, STOP FLAMING THE STORY, OKAY! Otherwise fangz to the gothic people for the good reviews! FANGZ AGAIN RAVEN! Oh yeah, by the way I don't own this or the lyrics from Good Charlotte.

On the night of the concert I put on my black lace-up boots with high heels, and underneath them were ripped red fishnets. Then I put on a black leather mini-dress with corset laces on the back and front. I put on matching fishnets on my arms.I straightened my hair and made it look all spiky. I felt a little depressed then, so I slit one of my wrists. I read a depressing book while I waited for it to stop bleeding and I listened to some Good Charlotte. I painted my nails black and put on a lot of black eyeliner. Then I put on some black lipstick.I didn't put on foundation because I was pale anyway. I drank some human blood, and then I was ready to go to the concert. I went outside. Draco was waiting there, standing in front of his flying car. He was wearing a Simple Plan t-shirt (they would play at the show too), baggy black skater pants, black nail polish and a little eyeliner (AN: A lot of cool boys wear it, okay.

"Hi Draco," I said in a depressed voice.

"Hi Ebony." he said back.

We walked into his flying black Mercedes-Benz (the license plate said 666) and flew to the place with the concert. On the way we listened excitedly to Good Charlotte and Marilyn Manson. We both smoked cigarettes and drugs.When we got there, we both hopped out of the car. We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and jumped up and down as we listened to Good Charlotte.

"You come in cold, you're covered in blood They're all so happy you've arrived The doctor cuts your cord, hands you to your mom; she sets you free into this life." sang Joel (I don't own the lyrics to that song).

"Joel is so fucking hot." I said to Draco, pointing to him as he sung, filling the club with his amazing voice. Suddenly Draco looked sad.

"What's wrong?" I asked as we moshed to the music.Then I caught on. "Hey, it's okay! I don't like him better than YOU!" I said.

"Really?" asked Draco sensitively and he put his arm around me protectively.

"Really." I said. "Besides, I don't even know Joel and he's going out with Hilary fucking Duff. I fucking hate that little bitch." I said disgustedly, thinking of her ugly blonde face.The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Draco. After the concert, we drank some beer and asked Benji and Joel for their autographs and photos with them. We got GC concert tees. Draco and I crawled back into the Mercedes-Benz,but Draco didn't go back into Hogwarts. Instead, he drove the car into the Forbidden Forest!

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Chapter 4.

AN: I said stop flaming okay! Ebony's name is EBONY, not Mary Sue OKAY! DRACO IS SO IN LOVE with her that he is acting different! They knew each other before, okay!

"DRACO!" I shouted. "What the fuck do you think you are doing?"

Draco didn't answer but he stopped the flying car and he walked out of it. I walked out of it too, curiously.

"What the fucking hell?" I asked angrily.

"Ebony?" he asked.

"What?" I snapped.

Draco leaned in extra-close and I looked into his gothic red eyes (he was wearing colour contacts) which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness that suddenly I didn't feel mad anymore. Suddenly, Draco kissed me passionately. Draco climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree. He took of my top and I took of his clothes. I even took of my bra. Then he put his thingy into my you-know-whatand we did it for the first time. "Oh! Oh! Oh!" I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm. We started to kiss everywhere and my pale body became all warm. And then… "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!" It was Dumbledore!

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Chapter 5.

AN: STOP flaming! If u flame, it means you're a prep or a poser! The only reason Dumbledore swore is because he had a headache, okay! And on top of that he was mad at them for having sex!PS – I'm not updating until I get five good reviews!

Dumbledore made Draco and I follow him. He kept shouting at us angrily.

"You ludicrous fools!" he shouted. I started to cry tears of blood down my pallid face. Draco comforted me. When we went back to the castle Dumbledore took us to Professor Snape and Professor McGonagall who were both looking very angry.

"They were having sexual intercourse in the Forbidden Forest!" he yelled in a furious voice.

"Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?" asked Professor McGonagall.

"How dare you?" demanded Professor Snape.

And then Draco shrieked, "BECAUSE I LOVE HER!" Everyone was quiet. Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall still looked mad but Professor Snape said. "Fine. Very well. You may go up to your rooms."

Draco and I went upstairs and the teachers glared at us. "Are you okay, Ebony?" Draco asked me gently.

"Yeah, I guess." I lied. I went to the girl's dorm and brushed my teeth and my hair and changed into a low-cut black floor-length dress with red lace all around it and black high heels.When I came out…. Draco was standing in front of the bathroom, and he started to sing 'I just wanna live' by Good Charlotte.I was so flattered, even though he wasn't supposed to be there. We hugged and kissed.After that, we said goodnight and he reluctantly went back into his room.

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Wow! Feel free to stop reading.

Disclaimer - Oh God, this is DEFINITELY NOT MINE.


	2. Chapter 2

And here they are, the next five chapters. Reader discretion is always advised.

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Chapter 6.

AN: Preps, shut up okay! PS I won't update until you give me good reviews!

The next day I woke up in my coffin. I put on a black miniskirt that was all ripped around the end and a matching top with red skulls all over it and high heeled boots that were black. I put on two pairs of skull earrings, and two crosses in my ears. I spray-painted my hair with purple. In the Great Hall, I ate some Count Chocula cereal with blood instead of milk, and a glass of red blood. Suddenly someone bumped into me, and all the blood spilled over my top.

"Bastard!" I shouted angrily. I regretted saying it when I looked up, because I was looking into the pale white face of a gothic boy with spiky black hair with red streaks in it. He was wearing so much eyeliner that I was going down his face and he was wearing black lipstick. He didn't have glasses anymore and now he was wearing red contact lenses just like Draco's and there was no scar on his forehead anymore. He had manly stubble on his chin, and a sexy English accent.He looked exactly like Joel Madden. He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection only I'm a girl so I didn't get one you sicko.

"I'm so sorry." he said in a shy voice.

"That's all right. What's your name?" I questioned.

"My name's Harry Potter, although most people call me Vampire these days." he grumbled.

"Why?" I exclaimed.

"Because I love the taste of human blood." he giggled.

"Well, I am a vampire." I confessed.

"Really?" he whimpered.

"Yeah." I roared.

We sat down to talk for a while. Then, Draco came up behind me and told me he had a surprise for me so I went away with him.

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Chapter 7. Bring Me to Life

AN: Well okay you guys, I'm only writing this because I got 5 good reviews. And by the way, I won't write the next chapter until I get TEN good ones!STOP FLAMING OR I'LL REPORT YOU! Ebony isn't a Mary Sue, okay! She isn't perfect – SHE'S A SATANIST! And she has problems; she's depressed for God's sake!

Draco and I held our pale white hands with black nail polish as we went upstairs. I was wearing red Satanist signs on my nails in red nail polish (AN: See? Does that sound like a Mary Sue to you?). I waved to Vampire. Dark misery was showing in his depressed eyes.I guess he was jealous of me that I was going out with Draco.Anyway, I went upstairs excitedly with Draco. We went into his room and locked the door. Then, we started French kissing passively and we took off each other's clothes enthusiastically. He felt me up before I took of my top. Then I took off my black leather bra and he took off his pants. We went on the bed and started making out naked and then he put his boy's thingy in mine and we had sex. (AN: See, is that stupid?)

"Oh Draco, Draco!" I screamed while getting an orgasm,when all of a sudden I saw a tattoo I had never seen before on Draco's arm. It was a black heart with an arrow through it. On it in bloody gothic writing was the word Vampire! I was so angry.

"You bastard!" I shouted angrily, jumping out of the bed.

"No! No! You don't understand!" Draco pleaded. But I knew too much.

"No, you fucking idiot!" I shouted. "You probably have AIDs anyway!" I put on my clothes huffily and then stomped out. Draco ran out even though he was naked. He had a really big you-know-what but I was too mad to care.I stomped out and did so until I was in Vampire's classroom where he was having a lesson with Professor Snape and some other people.

"VAMPIRE POTTER, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!" I yelled.

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Chapter 8.

AN: Stop flaming, okay! If you do then you are a prep!

Everyone in the class stared at me and then Draco came into the room even though he was naked and started begging me to take him back.

"Ebony, it's not what you think!" Draco screamed sadly.

My friend B'loody Mary Smith smiled at me understandingly. She flipped her long waist-length gothic black hair and opened her crimson eyes like blood that she was wearing contact lenses on. She had pale white skin that she was wearing white makeup on. Hermione was kidnapped when she was born. Her real parents were vampires and one of them was a witch but Voldemort killed her mother and her father committed suicide because he was depressed about it. She still has nightmares about it and she is very haunted and depressed.It also turns out her real last name is Smith and not Granger. Since she converted to Satanism, she was resorted so she is in Slytherin now, not Gryffindor.

"What is it that you desire, you ridiculous dimwit!" Snape demanded angrily in his cold voice but I ignored him.

"Draco, I can't believe you cheated on me with Vampire!" I shouted at him. Everyone gasped.

(Draco's POV)

I don't know why Ebony was so mad at me. I went out with Vampire (I'm bisexual and so is Ebony) for a while but then he broke my heart. He dumped me because he liked Britney, a stupid preppy fucker. We're just good friends now. He's gone through horrible problems, and now he was gothic. (Haha, like I would hang out with a prep.)

"But I'm not going out with Draco anymore!" said Vampire.

"Yeah fucking right! Fuck off, you bastard!" I screamed.I ran out of the room and into the Forbidden Forest where I had lost my virginity to Draco and then I started to burst into tears.

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Chapter 9.

AN: Stop flaming, okay! I didn't read all the books! This is from the movie, okay! So it's not my fault if Dumbledore swears!Besides, I SAID HE HAD A HEADACHE! and the reason Snape doesn't like Harry now is because he's Christian and Vampire is a Satanist! MCR ROCKS!

I was so mad and sad. I couldn't believe Draco for cheating on me. I began to cry against the tree where I did it with Draco.Then all of a sudden, a horrible man with red eyes and no nose started flying towards me on a broomstick! He didn't have a nose (like Voldemort in the movie) and he was wearing all black but it was obvious he wasn't gothic.It was Voldemort!

"No!" I shouted in a scared voice, but then Voldemort shouted "Imperio!" and I couldn't run away.

"Crookshanks!" I shouted at him.Voldemort fell of his broom and started to scream. I felt bad for him even though I'm a sadist so I stopped.

"Ebony," he yelled. "Thou must kill Vampire Potter!"I thought about Vampire and his sexy eyes and his gothic black hair and how his face looks just like Joel Madden. I remembered that Draco had said I didn't understand, so I thought, what if Draco went out with Vampire before I went out with him and they broke up?

"No, Voldemort!" I shouted back.

Voldemort gave me a gun. "No! Please!" I begged.

"Thou must!" he yelled. "If thou does not, then I shall kill thy beloved Draco!"

"How did you know?" I asked in a surprised way.

Voldemort got a dude-you're-so-retarded look on his face. "I hath telekinesis,"he answered cruelly. "And if you doth not kill Vampire, then thou know what will happen to Draco!" he shouted. Then he flew away angrily on his broomstick. I was so scared and mad I didn't know what to do. Suddenly Draco came into the woods.

"Draco!" I said. "Hi!"

"Hi." he said back but his face was all sad. He was wearing white foundation and messy eyeliner kind of like a pentagram (get it?) between Joel Madden and Gerard Way.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"No." he answered.

"I'm sorry I got all mad at you but I thought you cheated on me." I explained.

"That's okay." he said all depressed and we went back into Hogwarts together after making out.

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Chapter 10.

AN: Stop it, you gay fags! If you do not like my story then fuck off! PS - it turns out B'loody Mary isn't a muggle after all and she and Vampire are evil; that's why they moved houses, okay!

I was really scared about Voldemort all day. I was even upset when I went to rehearsals with my gothic metal band Bloody Gothic Rose 666.I am the lead singer in it and I also play guitar. People say that we sound like a cross between Good Charlotte, Slipknot and MCR.The other people in the band are B'loody Mary, Vampire, Draco, Ron (although we call him Diablo now, and he has black hair with blue streaks in it) and Hagrid.Only today, Draco and Vampire were depressed so they weren't coming and we wrote songs instead. I knew Draco was probably slitting his wrists, but I knew he wouldn't die because he was a vampire too and the only way you can kill a vampire is with a c-r-o-s-s (there's no way I'm writing that), or a stake**; **and Vampire was probably watching a depressing movie like The Corpse Bride. I put on a black leather shirt that showed off my boobs and tiny matching miniskirt that said Simple Plan on the butt. You might think I'm a slut but I'm really not. We were singing a cover of 'Helena' and at the end of the song I suddenly burst into tears.

"Ebony! Are you OK?" B'loody Mary asked in a concerted voice.

"What the fuck do you think?" I asked angrily. And then I said, "Well, Voldemort came and the fucking bastard told me to fucking kill Harry! But I don't want to kill him, because, he's really nice, even if he did go out with Draco. But if I don't kill Harry, then Voldemort, will fucking kill Draco!" I burst into tears. Suddenly Draco jumped out from behind a wall.

"Why didn't you fucking tell me!" he shouted. "How could you- you- you fucking poser muggle bitch!" (AN: See, is that out of character?)I started to cry and cry. Draco started to cry too all sensitive. Then he ran out, still crying. We practiced for one more hour. Then suddenly Dumbledore walked in angrily! His eyes were all fieryand I knew this time it wasn't cause he had a headache. "What have you done?!" He started to cry wisely.(AN: See, that's basically not swearing and this time he was really upset and you will see why) "Ebony,Draco has been found in his room. He committed suicide by slitting his wrists."

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DUN DUN DUUUN! What a bad cliffhanger.

Disclaimer - NOT MINE. NOT IN A MILLION YEARS.


	3. Chapter 3

I would advise you stop reading immediately. But technically I can't force you to stop, so carry on if you must.

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Chapter 11.

AN: I said stop flaming, you preps! See if this chapter is stupid! It deals with really serious issues! So see for yourself if it's stupid. By the way, fangz to my friend Raven for helping me!

"NO!" I screamed. I was horrified! B'loody Mary tried to comfort me but I told her fuck off and I ran to my room crying to myself. Dumbledore chased after me shouting but he had to stop when I went into my room because he would look like a pervert that way. Anyway, I started crying tears of blood and then I slit both of my wrists. Blood got all over my clothes, so I took them off and jumped into the bath angrilywhile I put on a Linkin Park song at full volume. I grabbed a stake and almost stuck it into my heart to commit suicide. I was so fucking depressed! I got out of the bathtub sadly and put on a black low-cut dress with lace all over it. I put on black high heels with pink metal stuff on the ends and six pairs of skull earrings. I couldn't fucking believe it.Then I looked out the window and screamed; Snape was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me! And Lupin was masturbating* to it! They were sitting on their broomsticks.

"EW, YOU FUCKING PERVERTS! STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKED! ARE YOU PAEDOS OR WHAT?!" I screamed putting on a black towel with a picture of Marilyn Mason on it.Suddenly Vampire ran in. "Avadaa Kedavra!" he yelled at Snape and Lupin pointing his wand. I took my gun and shot Snape and Lupin a gazillion timesand they both started screaming and the camera broke. Suddenly, Dumbledore ran in.

"Ebony, it has been revealed that someone has - NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he shouted looking at Snape and Lupin and then he waved his wand and suddenlyHagrid flew outside on his broomand said to everyone, "We need to talk."

"What do you know, Hagrid? You're just a dumb gamekeeper**!"

"I MAY BE A DUMB GAMEKEEPER**…." Hagrid paused angrily. "BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!"

"This cannot be." Snape said in a crisp voice as blood dripped from his hand where Dumbledore's wand had shot him. "There must be other factors."

"YOU DON'T HAVE ANY!" I yelled madly.

Lupinheld up the camera triumphantly."The lens may be ruined but the tape is still there!"

I felt faint, more than I normally do like how it feels when you do not drink enough blood."Why are you doing this?" Lupin said angrily while he rubbed his dirty hands on his cloak. And then I heard the words that I had heard before but not from him.I did not know whether to feel shocked and happy or to bite him and drink his blood because I felt faint. "BECAUSE…BECAUSE…" Hagrid said and he paused in the air dramatically, waving his wand in the air. Then he swooped in singing to the tune of a gothic version of a song by 50 Cent.

"Because you're gothic?" Snape asked in a little afraid voice cause he was afraid it meant he was connected with Satan.

"Because I LOVE HER!"

*Changed from masticating, the scientific word for 'chewing'.

**Changed from 'a little Hogwarts student'

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Chapter 12.

AN: Stop flaming, okay! Hagrid is a paedo, a lot of people in American schools are like that andI wanted to address the issue! How do you know Snape isn't Christian plus Hagrid isn't really in love with Ebony; that was Cedric okay!

I was about to slit my wrists again with the silver knife that Draco had given me in case anything happened to him. He had told me to use it valiantlyagainst an enemy but I knew that we must both go together.

"NO!" I thought it was Hagrid but it was Vampire. He started to scream.

"OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!" And then, his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites.I stopped.

"How did u know?"

"I saw it! And my scar turned back into the lightning bolt!"

"NO!" I ran up closer.

"I thought you didn't have a scar anymore!" I shouted.

"I do but Diablo changed it into a pentagram for meand I always cover it up with foundation," he said. "Anyway my scar hurt and it turned back into the lightning bolt! Save me! Then I had a vision of what was happening to Draco….Voldemort has him in bondage!"

Anyway I was in the school nurse's office now recovering from my slit wrists. Snap and Lupin and Hagrid were there too. They were going to St. Mungo'safter they recovered cause they were paedophiles and you can't have those fucking perverts teaching in a school with lots of hot girls. Dumbledore had confiscated* the video they took of me naked.I put up my middle finger at them.

Anyway Hagrid came into my hospital room holding a bouquet of pink roses. "Ebony, I need to tell you something." he said in a very serious voice,giving me the roses.

"Fuck off." I told him. "You know I fucking hate the colour pink anyway, and I don't like fucked up preps like you." I snapped.

Hagrid had been mean to me before for being gothic. "No, Ebony." Hagrid says. "Those are not roses."

"What, are they goths too you poser prep?" I asked because I was angry that he had brought me pink roses.

"I saved your life!" He yelled angrily.

"No you didn't I replied."

"You saved me from getting a Paris Hilton porn video made from your shower scene and being viewed by Snap and Lupin."

Who MASTURBATED** (AN: see, is that spelt wrong) to it he added silently.

"Whatever!" I yelled angrily.

He pointed his wand at the pink roses. "These aren't roses." He suddenly looked at them with an evil look in his eye and muttered "Well If you wanted honesty that's all you had to say!"

"That's not a spell that's an MCR song." I corrected him wisely.

"I know, I was just warming up my vocal chords." Then he screamed, "Petulus merengo mi kremicli romacio (AN: for all you cool gothic MCR fans out, there, that is a tribute! especially for Raven, I love you girl!) imo noto okayo!"

And then the roses turned into a huge black flame floating in the middle of the air, and it was black. Now I knew he wasn't a prep.

"OK I believe you now where the fuck is Draco?"

Hagrid rolled his eyes. I looked into the balls of flame but I could see nothing.

"You see, Ebony," Dumbledore said, watching the two of us watching the flame. "To see what is in the flames (HAHA YOU REVIEWERS FLAMES GET IT) you must find yourself first, okay?**"**

"I HAVE FOUND MYSELF OKAY, YOU MEAN OLD MAN!" Hagrid yelled. Dumbledore looked shocked. I guess he didn't have a headache or else he would have said something back. Hagrid stormed off back into his bed. "You are a liar, Professor Dumbledore!"

Anyway when I got better I went upstairs and put on a black leather mini-dress that was all ripped on the ends with lace on it.There was some corset stuff on the front. Then I put on black fishnets and black high-heeled boots with pictures of Billie Joe Armstrong on them. I put my hair all out around me so I looked like Samara from the Ring (AN: If you don't know who she is, you're a prep so fuck off!) and I put on blood-red lipstick, black eyeliner and black lip gloss.

"You look kawai, girl." B'loody Mary said sadly.

"Fangs (AN: Get it?), you do too." I said sadly too, but I was still upset. I slit both of my wrists feeling totally depressed and I sucked all the blood. I cried again in my bathroom and put the blinds down so Snape and Lupin couldn't spy on me this time.I went to some classes. Vampire was in the Care of Magical Magic Creatures.He looked all depressed because Draco had disappeared and he had used to be in love with Draco. He was sucking some blood from a Hufflepuff.

"Hi." he said in a depressed way.

"Hi." I said back in an equally sad way.We both looked at each other for some time. Harry had beautiful red gothic eyes so much like Draco's. Then… we jumped on each other and started screwing each other.

"STOP IT NOW YOU HORNY SIMPLETONS!" shouted Professor McGonagall who was watching us and so was everyone else.

"Vampire, you fucker!" I said slapping him. "Stop trying to screw me. You know I loved Draco!" I shouted and then I ran away angrily.

Just then he started to scream. "OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!" And then his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites.

"NO!" I ran up closer. "I thought you didn't have a scar anymore!" I shouted. "I do but Diablo changed it into a pentagram for me and I always cover it up with foundation." he said back. "Anyway my scar hurt and then I had a vision of what was happening to Draco….Voldemort has him bondage!"

AN: SPECIAL FANGZ TO RAVEN MY GOTHIC BLOOD SISTER! WHAT THE FUCK, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO WRITE THIS!

HEY RAVEN DO YOU KNOW WHERE MY SWEATER IS?

*Changed from constipated.

**Changed from MASTABATED

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Chapter 13.

AN: Raven, fangz for helping me again. I'm sorry I took your poster of Gerard but that guy is such a fucking sex-bomb! PREPS STOP FLAMING!

Vampire and I ran up the stairs looking for Dumbledore. We were so scared.

"Dumbledore! Dumbledore!" we both yelled.

Dumbledore came there. "What is it that you want now you despicable snobs?" he asked angrily.

"Voldemort has Draco!" we shouted at the same time.

He laughed in an evil voice.

"No! Don't! We need to save Draco!" we begged.

"No." he said meanly. "I don't give a darn what Voldemort does to Draco. Not after how much he misbehaved in school especially with YOU Ebony." he said while he frowned at me. "Besides, I never liked him that much anyway." Then he walked away.

Vampire started crying. "My Draco!" he moaned. (AN: don't you think gay guys are like so hot?!)

"It's okay!" I tried to tell him but that didn't stop him. He started to cry tears of blood. Then he had a brainstorm.

"I have an idea!" he exclaimed.

"What?" I asked him.

"You'll see." he said. He took out his wand and did a spell. Then… suddenly we were in Voldemort's lair! We ran in with our wands out just as we heard a crooning voice say. "Avada* Kedavra!" It was Voldemort!

*Changed from Allah.

* * *

Chapter 14.

AN: PREPZ, fuck off okay! Raven, fangz for helping again. I'm sorry I couldn't update but I was depressed and I had to go to hospital because I slit my wrists. PS I'm not updating until you give me 10 good reviews!

WARNING: SUM OF THIS CHAPTAER IS EXTREMELY SCARY. VIEWER DISCRETION* ADVISED.

We ran to where Voldemort was. It turned out that Voldemort wasn't there. Instead the fat guy who killed Cedric was. Draco was there crying tears of blood. Wormtail** was torturing him. Vampire and I ran in front of Wormtail**.

"Get out of my sight you despicable preps!" he shouted as we started shooting him with the gun. Then suddenly he looked at me and he fell down on his kneeswith a lovey-dovey look in his eyes.

"Ebony, I love you. Will you have sex with me?" he said. (AN: In this he is sixteen years old so he's not a paedophile, okay)

"Huh?" I asked.

"Ebony, I love you. Will you have sex with me?" asked Wormtail** again. I started laughing crudely.

"What the fuck? You torture my boyfriend and then you expect me to fuck you? God, you are so fucked up you fucking bastard." I said angrily. Then I stabbed him in the heart. Blood poured out of him like a fountain.

"Nooooooooooooo!" he screamed. He started screaming and running around.Then he fell down and died. I burst into tears sadly.

"Wormtail** what art thou doing?" called Voldemort.Then he started coming towards us! We could hear his high heels clacking to us. So we got on our broomsticks and we flew to Hogwarts. We went to my room. Vampire went away, and I started crying.

"What's wrong, honey?" asked Draco, taking off his clothes so we could screw.He had a sex-pack (AN: get it, because he's so sexy) and a really huge you-know-what.

"It's so unfair!" I yelled. "Why can't I just be ugly or plain like all the other girls and preps here? Except for B'loody Mary, because she's not ugly or anything."

"Why would you want to be ugly? I don't like the preps anyway. They are such fucking sluts." answered Draco.

"Yeah but everyone is in love with me!Like Snape and Lupin took a video of me naked. Hagrid says he's in love with me. Vampire likes me and now even Wormtail** is in love with me! I just want to be with you, okay Draco! Why couldn't Satan have made me less beautiful?" I shouted angrily. (AN: Don't worry, Ebony isn't a snob or anything but a lot of people have told her she's pretty)"I'm good at too many things! WHY CAN'T I JUST BE NORMAL? IT'S A FUCKING CURSE!" I shouted and then I ran away.

*Changed from excretion.

**Changed from Snaketail.

* * *

Chapter 15.

AN: Stop flaming, okay! By the way, you suck from no one! Every time someone flames me I'm going to slit my wrists! Fangz to Raven for helping!

"Ebony, Ebony!" shouted Draco sadly. "No, please, come back!"But I was too mad. "Whatever! Now you can go and have sex with Vampire!" I shouted.I stormed into my room and closed my black door with my blood-red key. It had a picture of Marilyn Manson on it. He looked so sexy in a way that reminded me of Draco and Vampire. I started to cry and weep. I took a razor and started to slit my wrists. I drank the blood, feeling depressed. Then I looked at my black Good Charlotte watch and noticed it was time to go to Herbology* class.

I put on a short ripped black gothic dress that said Anarchy on the front in blood red letters and was all ripped and a spiky belt. Under that I put on ripped black fishnets and boots that said Joel all over them with blood red letters. I put my ebony black hair up.Anyway I went downstairs feeling all sad and depressed as usual.I did some advanced Herbology* work. I was turning a bloody pentagram into a black guitar. Suddenly the guitar turned to Draco!

"Ebony, I love you!" he shouted sadly. "I don't care what those fucker preps and posers think. You're the most beautiful girl in the world. Before I met you I used to want to commit suicide all the time. Now I just want to fucking be with you. I fucking love you!" Then…. he started to sing "The Chronicles of Life and Death" (we considered it our song now because we fell in love when Joel was singing it)right in front of the entire class! His singing voice was so amazing and gothic and sexy, like a cross between Gerard, Joel, Chester, Pierre and Marilyn Manson (AN: Don't you think those guys are so hot? If you don't know who they are then get the fuck out of here!)

"OMFG." I said after he was finished. Some fucking preps stared at us but I just stuck up my middle fingers (that were covered in black nail polish and were entwined with Draco's now)at them. "I love you!" I said and then we started to kiss just like Hilary Duff (AN: I fucking hate that bitch) and CMM in a Cinderella Story. Then we went away holding hands. Lupin shouted at us but he stopped because everyone was clapping because how sexy we looked together.****Then I saw a poster saying that MCR would have a concert in Hogsmeade right then. We looked at each other all shocked, and then we went together.

*Changed from Biology.


	4. Chapter 4

Author's Note - Some annotations are in this chapter because it literally makes no sense.

Disclaimer - STILL NOT MINE. NEVER EVER EVER MINE. ALL TARA'S. And JKR's, kind of.

* * *

Chapter 16.

AN: You know what?! Shut up, okay! Prove to me you're not preps! Raven, you suck! You fucking bitch, give me back my fucking sweater! You're supposed to write this! Raven, what the fuck you bitch, you're supposed to do this!By the way, fangz to britney5655 for checking my Japanese!

We ran happily to Hogsmeade. There we saw the stage where Good Charlotte had played. We ran in happily. MCR were there playing 'Helena'. I was so fucking happy! Gerard looked even sexier than he did in the pictures. Even Draco thought so, I could totally see him getting an erection but it didn't matter because I knew know that we were the only true ones for each other. I was wearing a black leather mini-dress and black leather platinum boots with red ripped fishnets. Draco was wearing a black baggy MCR t-shirt and black baggy pants. Anyway, we stated moshing to Helena. We French kissed. We ran up to the front of the band to stage-dive. Suddenly, Gerard pulled off his mask. So did the others.We gasped. It wasn't them at all. It was Voldemort and the Death Eaters*!

"What the fuck, Draco I'm not going to a concert with you!" I shouted angrily. "Not after what happened to me last time? Even if it's MCR and you know how much I like them."

"What cause we…you know…" he gagged uncomfortably because guys don't like to talk about you-know-what.

"Yeah cause we you-know!" I yielded in an angry voice.

"We won't do that again." Draco promised. "This time, we're going with an ESCORT."

"OMFG what the fuck? Are you giving into the mainstream?" I asked. "So I guess you're a prep or a Christina, or what now?"

"NO." he muttered loudly.

"Are you becoming a prep or what?" I shouted angrily.

"Ebony! I'm not! Please come with me!" He fell down to his knees and started singing 'The world is black' by Good Charlotte to me. I was flattered** because that's not even a single, he had memorized da lyrics just for me!

"OK then, I guess I will have to." I said and then we French kissed for a while and I went up to my room. B'loody Mary was standing there.

"Hajimemashite gurl." she said happily (she speaks Japanese and so do I. That means 'How do you do' in Japanese)."BTW Willow that fucking poser got expelled. She failed all her classes and she skipped maths." (AN: RAVEN, YOU FUCKING SUCK! FUCK YOU!)

"Serves that fucking bitch right." I laughed angrily. Well anyway, we were feeling all depressed. We watched some gothic movies like The Nightmare Before Christmas. Maybe Willow will die too." I said.

"Kawai." B'loody Mary shook her head energetically then lethargically. "Oh yeah, I have a confession. After she got expelled I murdered her and then Lupin did it with her because he's a necrophiliac."

"Kawai." I commented happily. We talked to each other in silence for the rest of the movie. "Oh by the way, I'm going to a concert with Draco tonight in Hogsmeade with MCR." I said. "I need to wear like the hottest outfit ever." B'Loody Mary nodded energetically.

"Omfg totally lets go shopping!"

"In Hot Topic, right?" I asked, already getting out my special Hot Topic Loyalty card.

"No." My head snapped up. 'WHAT?" my head spun. I could not believe it. "B'Loody Mary are you a PREP?"

"NOOOO! NOOOO!" She laughed."I found some cool gothic stores near Hogwarts that's all."

"Who told you about them?" I asked, sure it would be Draco or Diablo or Vampire (don't even SAY that name to me!). Or me.

"Dumbledore." She said. "Let me just call our brooms."

"OMFG DUMBLEDORE?" I asked quietly.

"Yeah, I saw the map for Hogsmeade on his desk," she told me. "Come on, let's go."

We were going in a few punk-goth stores especially for the concert in Hogsmeade.The salesperson was OMG HOTTER THAN GERARD EXCEPT NOT BECAUSE THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE and he gave me a few dresses. "We only have these for the real goths."

"The real goths?" B'Loody Mary and I asked.

"Yeah u wouldn't believe how many posers there are in this town man! Yesterday Lupin and Snape tried to buy a gothic camera pouch." He shook his head. "I didn't even know they had a camera."

"OMFG NO! THEY'RE GONNA SPY ON ME AGAIN!" I cried, running out of the changing room wearing a long black dress with lots of red tulle coming out and very low-cut with a huge slit.

"Oh my Satan you have to buy that outfit!" The salesperson said.

"Yeah it looks totally hot." said B'Loody Mary.

"You know what? I am going to give it to you for free cause you look really hot in that outfit. Hey are you going to be at the concert tonight?" he asked.

"Yeah I am actually." I looked back at him. "Hey by the way, my name's Ebony Dark'ness Dementia TARA Way. What's yours?"

"Tom Riddle." He said and ran a hand through his black-dyed hair. "Maybe I'll see you there tonight."

"Yeah I don't think so because I am going there with my boyfriend Draco you sick pervert!" I yelled angrily,but before he could beg me to go with him, Hagrid flew in on his black broom looking worried.

"OMFG EBONY U NEED TO GET BACK INTO THE CASTLE NOW!"

*Changed from Death Dealers.

**Changed from flattened.

I think she might have got this mixed up, because some of this happens in the next chapter too.

* * *

Chapter 17.

AN: I said stop flaming the story! If you're a prep then do not read it! You can tell whether you are a prep or not by taking my quiz; it's on my homepage.If you're not then you rock; if you are then fuck off! PS Willow isn't really a prep. Raven please do this! I promise I'll give you back your poster!

Tom Riddle gave us some clothes and stuff for free. He said he would help us with makeup if he wanted because he was really into fashion and stuff (he's bisexual). Hagrid kept shouting at us to come back to Hogwarts.

"What the fuck, Hagrid?" I shouted angrily. "Fuck off you fucking bastard." Well anyway Willow came and Hagrid went away angrily**.**

"Hey bitch, you look kawaii." she said.

"Yeah, but not as kawaii as you," I answered sadly cause Willow's really pretty. She was wearing a short black corset-top with blood red lace on it and a black blood-red miniskirt, leather fish-nets and black pointy boots that showed off how pale she was. She had a really nice body with big boobs.She was thin enough to be anorexic.

"So are you going to the concert with Draco?" she asked.

"Yeah." I said happily.

"I'm going with Diablo," she answered happily. Well anyway Draco and Diablo came. They were both looking extremely hot and sexy and you could tell they thought we were hot too.Diablo was wearing a black t-shirt that said '666' on it.He was wearing tons off makeup just like Marilyn Manson. Draco was wearing black leather pants, a gothic black Good Charlotte t-shirt and black Vans he got from the Warped tower. B'loody Mary was going to the concert with Dracula. Dracula used to be called Neville* but it tuned out that he was kidnapped at birth and his real family were vampires. They died in a car crash. Neville* converted to Satanism and he went goth. He was in Slytherin now.He was wearing a black Warped t-shirt, black jeans and shoes and black hair with red streaks in it. We call him Dracula now. Well anyway we all went to Draco's black Mercedes-Benz (Get it, because we're gothic) that his dad Lucius gave him. We did pot, coke and crack. Draco and I made out. We made fun of those stupid fucking preps. We soon got there.I gasped. Gerard was the sexiest guy ever! He locked even sexier than he did in pictures. He had long raven black hair and piercing blue eyes. He was really skinny and he had an amazing ethnic voice. We moshed to Helena and some other songs.

Suddenly Gerard pulled of his mask. So did the other members. I gasped. It wasn't Gerard at all! It was an ugly preppy man with no nose and red eyes. Everyone ran away but me and Draco.

Draco and I came. It was….Voldemort and the Death Eaters**!

"You moronic idiots!" he shouted angrily. "Ebony, I told you to kill Vampire. Thou have failed. And now….I shall kill thou and Draco!"

"No! No ,please!" We begged sadly but he took out his knife**.** Suddenly a gothic old man flew in on his broomstick. He had long black hair and a long black beard. He was wearing a black robe that said 'Avril Lavigne' on the back. He shouted a spell and Voldemort ran away. It was…DUMBLEDORE!

*Changed from Navel.

**Changed from Death Deelers.

* * *

Chapter 18.

AN: I SAID STOP FLAMING! If you do then you're a fucking prep!Fangz to Raven for the help and stuff. You rock! And you're not a prep. Fangz for my sweater!PS the other reason Dumbledore swore is because he is trying to be gothic, so there!

I woke up the next day in my coffin.I walked out of it and put on some black eyeliner, black eyeshadow, blood-redlipstick and a black really low-cut leather dress that was all ripped and in stripes so you could see my belly.I was wearing a skull belly ring with black and red diamonds inside it.

(The night before Draco and I rent back to the skull (Get it, skull, because I'm gothic and I like death.). We flew there on our brooms. Mine was black and the broom-stuff was blood-red.There was lace all over it.Draco had a black MCR boom. We went back to our rooms and we had you-know-what to a Linkin Park song.)

Well anyway I went down to the Great Hall. There, all the walls were painted black and the tables were black too. But you could see that there was pink paint underneath the black paint. And there were posters of poser bands everywhere, like Ashlee Simpson and the Backstreet Boys.

"What the fuck!" I shouted going to sit next to B'loody Mary and Willow. B'loody Mary was wearing a black leather mini with a Good Charlotte t-shirt, black fishnets and black pointy boots. Willow was wearinga long gothic black dress with blood red writing that was all lacy and came up to your thighsand black boots and then Dracula and Draco came. We started to talk about who was sexier, Mikey or Gerard Way or Billie Joe Armstrong. The boys joined in because they were bisexual.

"Those guys are so fucking hot." Neville* was saying as suddenly a gothic old man with a black beard came. He was the same one who had chased away Voldemort yesterday. He had normal tan skin but he was wearing white foundation and he had died his hair black.

"….DUMBLEDORE?!" we all gasped.

"What the fuck?" I shouted angrily. "I thought he was just wearing that to scare Voldemort!"

"Hello everyone." He said happily. "As you can see I gave the room a makeover. What do you think about it?"

Everyone from the poser table in Gryffindor started to cheer**.** Well we goths just looked at each other all disgusted and shook our heads. We couldn't believe what a poser he was!

"By the way, you can call me Albus**." He called as we left to go to our classes.

"What a fucking poser!" Draco shouted angrily as we went to Transfiguration***.We were holding hands. Vampire looked really jealous. I could see him crying blood in a gothic way (AN: get it, way like Gerard?)but I didn't say anything. "I bet he's having a mid-life crisis!" Willow shouted.

I was so fucking angry.

***Changed from Navel. Again.**

****Changed from Albert.**

*****Changed from Transformation.**

* * *

Chapter 19. I'm Not Okay, I Promise

AN: Please stop flaming the story; if you do you're a fucking prep and you're jealous ok! From now on I'm going to delete your mean reviews!By the way, Ebony's a pureblood, so there! Fangz to Raven for the help!

All day we sat angrily thinking about how we're so fucking pissed off. Well, I had one thing to look forward too- the MCR concert. It had been postponed, so we could all go.

Anyway, I went to the common room sadly to cut classes**. **Draco was being all secretive.

I asked what it was and he got all mad me and started crying all hot and angsty (AN: Aren't sensitive bisexual guys so hot?).

"No one fucking understands me!" he shouted angrilyas his black hairwent in his big blue eyes like Billie Joe in Boulevard of Broken Dreams. He was wearing black baggy pants, a black MCR t-shirt and a black die. (AN: Die instead of tie, get it because I'm gothic?) I was wearing a black leather low cut top with chains all over it over a black leather mini, black high heeled boots and a cross belly ring**. **My hair was all up in a messy really high bun like Amy Lee in Going Under. (AN: email me if you want to see the picture)

"Accuse me? What about me!" I growled. **[Actual author's note – I honestly have no idea what she's on about! Sorry!)**

"But-but-but-" he grunted.

"You fucking bastard!" I moaned.

"No! Wait! It's not what it fucking looks like!" he shouted.

But it was too late. I knew what I heard.I ran to the bathroom angrily, crying. Draco banged on the door. Whipped and whepped **[Actual author's note – Um, what?] **as my bloody eyeliner streamed down my cheeks and made cool tears down my face* like Benji in the video for Girls and Boys (AN: Raven, that is so our video!).I took out a cigarette and started to smoke pot.

Suddenly Hagrid had appeared.

"You gave me a fucking shock!" I shouted angrily dropping my pot. "What the fuck do you think you're doing in the girl's **[bath]**room?"

Only it wasn't just him, someone else was with him too! For a second I wanted it to be Tom Riddle or maybe Draco but it was Dumbledore.

"Hey, I need to ask you a question." he said, pulling out his black wannabe-gothic purse "What are you wearing to the concert?"

"You know who MCR are!?" I gasped.

"No, I just saw there was a concert that a lot of goths and punks were going to." He said. "Anyway, Draco has a surprise for you."

*Changed from faeces**.**

* * *

Chapter 20.

AN: I said I don't care what you think! Stop flaming, okay preps! Fangz to Raven for the help! Oh yeah, by the way I'll be on vacation in Transylvania for the next three days so don't expect updates.

All day I wondered what the surprise was. Meanwhile, I put on a black leather mini,a black corset with purple lace all over it,and black gothic compact **[Actual author's note – I assue this is a band?] **were going to do the concert again, since Voldemorthad taken over the last one.I slit my wrists while I moshed to MCR in my bedroom all night, feeling excited. Suddenly someone knocked on the door while I was trying on some black clothes and moshing to Fangz You for the Venom. I got all mad and turned it off, but inside I secretly hoped that it was Draco so we could do it again.

"What the fucking hell are you doing!" I shouted angrily. It was Lupin! "Are you going to come rape me or what!" I yelled**. **I was allowed to say that because Dumbledore had told us all to be careful around him and Snape since he was a paedophile.

"No, actshelly (AN: get it, hell), can I please borrow some condoms?" he growled angrily.

"Yeah, so you can fuck your six-year-old girlfriend, huh?"I shouted sarcastically

"Fucker." He said, going away.

Well anyway, I put on some black eyeshadow, black eyeliner, and some black lipstick and white foundation. I gasped **[and presumably went down to the Great Hall]** Snape and Lupin were in the middle of the empty hall, doing it, and Dobby was watching!

"Oh my god, you ludicrous idiot!" They both shouted angrily when they saw me, so I ran away as they got up, though. Normally I would have been turned on (I love seeing guys do it) but both of them were fucking preps. (AN: by the way, Snape is moved to Gryffindor now)

"What the fuck, is that why you wanted condoms?" I asked sadistically. (AN: see I spelled that) **[I think she meant sarcastically. I don't know.]**

"Only you wouldn't give them to me!" Lupin* shouted angrily.

"Well you should have told me." I replyed.

"You dimwit!." Snape began to shout angrily.And then, I took out my black camera and took a picture of them. You could see that they were naked.

"Well excuse me!" they both shouted angrily. "What was that all about?"

"It was to blackmail you." I snarked. **[?] **"So now next time you see me doing it with my boyfriend you can't fucking rat me out or I'll show dis to Dumbledore**.So fuck off, you bastards!" I started to run.They chased me but I threw my wand at themand they tripped over it.Well anyway, I went outside and there was Vampire, looking extremely fucking hot.

"What the fuck, where'd Draco go?" I asked him.

"Oh, he's being a fucking bastard. He told me he wouldn't come." Vampire said shaking his head. "You want to come with me? To the concert?"

Then, he showed me his flying car**. **I gasped. It was a black car.He said his Godfather*** Siriuss Black had given it to him. The license plate on the front said MCR666 on it.The one on da back said 'EBONY' on it. I gasped **[again].**

We flew to the concert hall. MCR were there, playing.

Vampire and I began to make out, moshing to the music. I gasped, looking at the band.

I almost had an **[No idea what was meant to be here, I assume "orgasm because –name— was"]** so fucking hot! He began to sing 'Helena' and his sexy beautiful voice began to fill the hall. And then, I heard someone crying. I turned and saw Draco, crying in a corner.

*Changed from Lumpkin.

**Changed from Dumbledork.

***Changed from Dogfather.


End file.
